Hello, website. It's been a while, huh?

You know, when I first created this--beyond my desire to prove that we could code a website from scratch, of course--I really thought I'd have a lot to say! That living my life as-is, a hawk and a margay (you might as well say I'm something of a griffin; it's how I draw my fursona, after all) and plural, there'd be something to say, but...nope!

Well, nope is an understatement. I mean I don't have a lot to say in regards to the form of blogging. I've always been a writer, but I'm a teller of stories--I have a whole lot to say about being otherkin, being other-than-human, about lovelessness and plurality--it just turns out I say those things best through story!

Why would I write a blog post about my otherkinity, when I've written several novels doing the same thing? I could try to shape my experiences into words on a blog post, or I could forgo explanation entirely, and tell a story. My answer is in there, somewhere. I could write a blog post on the different ways my headmates and I communicate--the way Chara is never far away, the emoticons Benji speaks in, Ada and Nimona's long wanderings--but I could also sit down, and shape those experiences into a tale of living on and trying to do your best with the body you share. One comes naturally to me. The other involves staring at a blank page for hours at a time.

I guess this is all just life for me now--I don't have any big, dramatic personal stories. Just my day-to-day. Little moments, yes, where I look at myself, and my hawkness, and realize--ah. So that explains that, then. But most of what I want to say are things I want to say through fiction, through story.

I think some of my proudest moments in life are the comments I get from people who read my stories and see themselves reflected in them. Knowing my coyotekin Kris fic helped people discover their own otherkin identities is a joy I'll always treasure. I'm not going to stop writing about these things--there will always be a place in my heart that wants to talk on animality, on lovelessness, on plurality. On the not-perfects, the good-enough, the surviving despite it all. One day I hope to record all these stories here, so anyone stumbling across this site might find the story they've always wanted told.

I started writing because I never could find the stories I needed to read. And I've never really stopped. I've said often writing is what makes me feel alive, and it's never changed, no matter what my life circumstances might be.

I do want to come back to this site. There are more dragons I need to add to the dragon garden, and of course I want to get my writing page up and running, for a place to store all my stories about this strange thing we call life, but I'm not sure I've got too many blog-style posts left in me. Perhaps my headmates might come back, though Benji's not one for typing, Ada is only hit with the bug rarely, and Nimona's off doing her own thing. Of all of us Chara wants to start posting xir own small pieces here--little bits of memory xe immortalizes in story, so look out for a few of those, in this new year.

But I think I'm going to be writing--about all these little parts of me, released into the world. Fiction writing is where I'll always, always hide my deepest thoughts and fears.

Here, hold onto my heart. I hope you can see yourself in it.

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